[27 Dec 2009|02:37am] thisbagbusiness i feel nothing for anything and i find no joy in things i used to love. most people need drugs to feel like this. i guess we are all lucky in one way or another. 2 comments|post comment

[25 Dec 2009|03:38am] mexicanreagan I've spent the better part of the night concentrating on Nightmare Glasses, specifically practicing and making our t-shirts. Lemme be frank: the shit is tight. Even if we have a couple of holes in the tour, I think this will still be rad. post comment

[24 Dec 2009|12:50pm] mexicanreagan Years like 2009 test my patience. I see what I've lost, what I've given up and what just ended naturally, and I feel a little like a canvas whose paint has been stripped off. There's two sides to that analogy, half of it being that I've lost a lot of what defined my identity, what gave me some comfort in an otherwise cold world, but the other half being that I can now start on something else, something better. I guess it's important to assess what I have, where I am: -Nightmare Glasses: totally infatuated with it, enthralled with the possibilities of future songs, future shows, future releases, future tours -teaching encaustics classes: something I feel sort of predisposed to doing, and getting cash money for it -a handful of friends that I can count as some of the most loving and understanding that I've ever had So, all is not lost. I guess it's the defined networks that are really the big thing that suffered this year. Most of the players are still there, still ready to go. It just kinda sucks having to rebuild something that was already assembled. Better times. post comment

[23 Dec 2009|12:03am] mexicanreagan Lately, I've felt like a total dick. There are a lot of reasons I've felt like a dick. Yesterday and today, I've had these horrific moments where I could barely keep my composure. Actually, I totally lost it last night, when I got home from work. The reality of my life has been sinking in a lot lot lot, and to be frank, if I don't stay busy, I find myself confused about how much longer I can keep doing anything. So much of it stems from having something to say to a number of people, and not having the foresight to acknowledge how much it might help me, or not having the balls to go ahead and say what I need to, fuck all if it ruins it. Then, in turns, I find myself with more drive to do everything I've ever wanted with little regard for how I get to the point of doing it. Both avenues of action are self-destructive, and the little beast in me likes it like that. I am it's possession. post comment

[22 Dec 2009|03:17pm] thisbagbusiness permanent self destruct mode. post comment

[18 Dec 2009|02:14am] thisbagbusiness this isn't forever, and if you really know me at all, you knew all along. but somehow i don't look at it as failure. even though i know one day it's gonna come down to an ultimatum, and i'll have to relearn how to live my life as a loner. i've secretly been practicing. post comment

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